We like texture

I took notes the other day, the better to blog with. But... I lost them.

Hmmm...

It's disturbing now, that, I'm not really anonymous no more. Sure, my name and pic were always up and everything, but I thought I was getting into a foreign web landscape where history starts afresh and we have only connections on the web/psyche/sub-post-deep level.

But in all likelihood, the only people reading this right now, are people that I know.

fuck (small 'f', don't be alarmed)

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I still want my reader to feel special, so here is the deal: I will not tweak with the honesty switch. In other words, if I was drunk, I will let you know.

We have two worlds, us bloggers: this one, and the "real"/overbearing one. I'm not going to be made to feel uncomfortable because of what I write in my corner of the web. No. If I seem vulnerable, if people start to "get" me, that's a feather in the cap, Catch 22-style. Or just tough.

Where else am I going to explore freeform stream-of-consciousness? Doing it my head almost doesn't cut it anymore.

Oh yes. On Friday, I was feeling very witty. We were walking to the pub in windy-wet conditions, and I thought I might venture the following carefully constructed anecdote:

"Yes, this weather is very depressing. At least now we can say our impending drunkeness was meteorologically induced."

Guys, I think it's very clear that I was trying very hard. And, from Murphy's equation for humour, we know that:

given objective funniness ₣, there is an inverse relationship between how hard you are trying, ∑ and general positive reaction and laughter∫.

So, ∑ x ∫ = ₣

And sadly, because ∑ was vastly > than ∫, ₣ turned out to be one of the greatest dissapointments of Friday, and indeed my life. I've only recently managed to put a stop to my pathetic whimpering and my appetite is recovering only as well as possible under the circumstances.

Thank you for asking.


Sir - Seeing as you published your complex soft science in a peer reviewed blog, the following:

You Neglect A(T) [the test audience for the comment in question] and A(1)...A(n) [all your potential future audiences].
You also neglected to mention that your audience may already have been suffering from meteorologically induced depression, Function(D)(m).
There is also the windchill factor [Brrr], the beerchill/brainfreeze factor [shhh/eish].

Therefore, your peers reject after carefull consideration, any whimpering caused.
 gm  


when i take this to the board on appeal, you will be sorry.
 N  


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